Hey everyone, hope life is unveiling to us several lessons as to run by it.
Miss.X bumped into a guy who was so nice to people which included her. They exchanged digits and kept keeping in touch and then hanging out. An as usual,Miss X tells her girlfriends about her new guy whose got eyes for her. This kept on happen until he came by with his fiancé. She was hurt and rained curses on him with tears filled eyes. She felt deceived and used.
What really was the problem?
Relationships has to do with the communication or interaction between two or more persons. This might seem so casual to be defined and all but just like Miss X,undefined relationships have a way of leaving a stitch in our hearts,ruins once existing relationships.
We meet a lot of people on regular basis but few of Us really take time to sort out these people who come to our lives daily. Are they friends or do they want friendship or more.
Defined relationship doesn’t just come to play in romantic relationships, its goes way down to roommates, colleagues and much more. There are so many people pretending and leaving in their own worlds that they are some persons close friends while they are just casual friends.
when do I define my relationships
One should start defining his/her relationships once the motive behind the relationship is not clearly stated
Once strange and weird intimacy steps in for a relationship you think is at ‘ let’s just be friends ,you better start asking for clarity on the type of relationship before you get into something you don’t want and will be hard to recover from.
When you start to feel the urge of responsibility to someone,it’s high time you find out what the state of the relationship is. It should be clear what kind of relationship it is cos you can’t become obligated by your mind and emotions to do stuffs for someone and find out finally that you where just been a philanthropist not dating so to say.
views on defining relationships
A friend of mine said;
It’s necessary.. Super necessary to define relationships. Especially when u are not sure of the person’s real motive. Maybe the person is just super nice or maybe the person really likes u. Its good you define the relationship, before some unnecessary sense of duty starts popping up
Also,another line of thought on this is;
Don’t allow a lady date you in her mind, and also don’t allow a guy think you are his woman. He may start touching you anyhow one day or Some may stupidly go for a kiss. Can you imagine?
David E. Mentioned that,
“to avoid future disaster relationships should be defined right from the on set. This will help to let one know where the stand in people’s life and not attach too much value or attention to people whey are nothing to”.
Most ladies are too desperate for to date that at the slightest niceness of a guy,they feel his the one for them and Begin to have fantasies about someone who just wants friendship. Also some guys feel a lady can’t be free with you without demanding something more or intimacy so to say,then they begin to make passes and disrespectful touch and attempt. This comes in when the category of the relationship isn’t defined.
We have a lot of people in our lives right now that when asked who they are to us leaves us confused and speechless cos we haven’t given them a spot,so we end up giving the wrong set of people attention, shutting out the good ones and investing into a so called relationship that only exist in your own world.
We have roommates or colleagues who feel for been around us they have the right to intrude into our private lives like we are some close buddies but that shouldn’t be so. If you dont want their friendship, state it.
Things will be a lot better if we actually let people know how much they mean to us so they don’t get to struggle too hard for approval or struggle too hard that leaves them out of our lives.
dear,I’m James and I was wondering if we could be friends or reading partners
Hey Christy, I’ve watched you for a while and don’t know if I can have a chance to be your boyfriend…
Conversations like this wouldn’t kill us. Some young ones have friends of opposite gender and don’t know if they are emotionally attracted to them to just best friends cos they end up getting mad at them talking to other people of opposite sex. Save yourself the stress of hurt or jealousy and just ask, ” are we just friends or what”, “where do I stay in your life cos I can’t really say.”
EFFECTS OF UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIPS
When I don’t define my relationship with people, what happens to me? Or to the people I claim I love?
- causes a breach in communication: this occurs when we make assumptions of things and not finding out in reality what it is. So you see cases of once close friendship now broken cos they only saw the relationship for what they wanted and not the needs of the other party.
- Psychological disaster: this leads to us shutting people out of our lives for the mistake of something we could have stopped with questions for clarity. It leaves the heart broken and to some shocked that a friend of theirs saw them as a couple which is far from it.
- Unnecessary expenses: for people we love so much,we start to feel obligated to buy them gifts,items,attach to much time to them,give relevance to them and not our close buddies anymore just to find out a t the end that there wasn’t really anything deep at least not from the partner’s end except yours. And since you took your views and thoughts to be same,you have to deal with the loss now.
- Emotional pains: leaves one to broken and hurt to love again,too clouded by our past ability not to define our relationships before it went too far to see the love that comes from people and buddies that care for us too. We become what we never were.
When your starting whatever kind of relationship, ASK questions cos it wouldn’t hurt as it will when you don’t. When you ain’t getting the signs and signal he/she is giving… ASK
Also,from your end,learn to state out plainly what kind of relationship you have to offer. Is it casual friends, BFF,close buddies,boyfriend, fun partner, study mate and whatever it may be. After you’ve done your part and the second party isn’t forthcoming, you walk way!
Thanks so much for taking time out to rad this and you definitely can bring your views on defining relationships through the comment box and don’t forget to like and share.